Depression

Depression

The Cold and The Darkness

Photo by Matthias Heil on Unsplash

I’ve struggled to name this post. I’ve been wanting to write something about depression for a while now, but the words have always failed me when it actually came to writing it down.

It’s hard to write about depression. It’s even harder to live with it. Some days you wake up and everything’s good. You feel energised, and ready to take on anything. Then there are the other days. The darker ones, when all you want to do is roll over in bed and sleep and sleep until the darkness fades and the sun shines again.

The thing is that ‘depression’ has become a buzz word. It has become something that is all too common for people to talk about, with phrases like; “I’m sooo depressed” and “I’m just a bit down” being thrown about everywhere.

The people that say this very rarely have any idea of what they’re claiming to have. Depression isn’t fashionable. It isn’t a quirk, and it certainly isn’t something that is fun to have.

There are so many aspects of depression that people don’t talk about though; the unglamorous things, like when you haven’t taken a shower in over a week, because you simply can’t summon up the energy, or when you eat junk, because you can’t be bothered to cook, and you aren’t really sure if you’re hungry anyway… There are too many examples to list.

When I was fourteen, I felt exhausted all the time. I struggled to get up in the morning. I couldn’t focus for more than a few minutes at a time, and I was off school for a number of weeks. It was like life was just too much like hard work.

My Mum took me to the doctor, and they did all the usual stuff, and then took blood samples, to check if I had glandular fever. The bloods came back negative, and the doctors (in their obvious wisdom) decided that I was just making it up — nice! In their defense, it was almost twenty years ago, and back then, children and adolescents weren’t diagnosed with mental health issues.

At the time, I didn’t really know what was happening to me. I just knew that I felt exhausted. I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I was scared; and when the doctor said I was making it up, I was hurt.

I wasn’t making it up.

Back then, I didn’t understand, but now, I know what it was. I was clinically depressed, and the doctor missed it. I’m not angry with him. It wasn’t his fault that the rules were like that back then, and I didn’t tell him everything, because I was ashamed.

I still feel ashamed today, but there’s nothing I can do to change it. I have depression. It is a part of me, and all I can do is make the most of the good days, and make the best of the bad ones.

And above all: I must not give up hope.

We must not give up hope.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

OCD

OCD

A Poem

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

Thoughts invading,
Fears preventing,
Worries and anxieties,
Torment the mind.

Repeated rituals,
“Must we do this again?”
The answer is “Yes!”
As I repeat and repeat.

And the end of the day comes,
Exhaustion overwhelms,
But I’m still not done yet…


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Tormented

Tormented

A Haiku

Photo by Stefano Pollio on Unsplash

Anguish within me,
I’m tormented inside. I’m
drowning, falling, lost.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Anxiety’s Curse

Anxiety’s Curse

A Haiku

Photo by js ht on Unsplash

When you’re feeling low,
Is when it comes creeping in,
And traps you in fear.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Anxiety

Anxiety

A Haiku

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

It’s easy to say,
That there’s no room for it here,
When you don’t feel it…


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Self Care

Self Care

A Haiku-ish

Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash

Difficult practice,
But it’s one that must be learned,
If we ever want…

Peace…


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Mental Health Days

Mental Health Days

When you need to practice self care…

Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash

Last weekend was not a good weekend for me. My anxiety and depression came crashing in, and I really struggled to even get out of bed in the morning.

I struggled through part of my morning routine, before finally admitting defeat and taking to the sofa with my dogs and a blanket.

I didn’t get much done that weekend. At first I felt like beating myself up because of it, but as I allowed myself to relax, it made me realise that it was okay to take a couple of days to myself. It wasn’t going to make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things.

So, I took that time, and I relaxed, and I looked after my own wellbeing and mental health for those few days.

I am glad to say that I am feeling stronger now, and although I am well aware that there will probably be other days like these, I have learned that it is okay to admit my weaknesses and to look after myself first and foremost.

What sorts of things do you do to look after yourself when you’re having a down day?

Let me know in the comments.


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

January Blues

January Blues

And How To Beat Them

by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

Well, here we are, five days into January already… Has it hit you yet? What am I talking about, I hear you ask…

I’m talking about the January blues; that post-Christmas slump that seems to happen at the beginning of January, when all of the excitement and preparation for Christmas is over, and the lights, and sparkly decorations have been taken down and stowed away in the loft for another year.

I don’t know about you, but while, on one hand, I like to see the fresh clean house, once all the decorations have come down, I also feel sad to see the lights go, and the nights begin to look so much darker once more.

All too soon, life moves on and we get back to normal, and Christmas seems like nothing more than a distant memory, as work and other things of ordinary life take over.

The thing is that we all know that it will happen, eventually. At some point this January, we will all face a case of the January blues (unless you’re some kind of super human, and if you are, you probably wouldn’t be reading this, because you’d have far more important things to deal with). What we need, is to make sure that we have techniques and plans in place for when this happens.

My first technique sounds very simple: Make sure that you have a routine in place. Simple, right?! The thing is, it’s easy to put a routine in place, but finding the motivation to do it and stick to it, is the thing that can be a stumbling block. The key I’ve found, is to simply tell myself that I’ll just do ten minutes. If I do ten minutes on the tasks included on my routine, I can chalk it up as a success, and even this, as small as it sounds, can help to lift my mood.

Secondly, I make sure that I exercise (for at least ten minutes) a day. I usually do more, because once I get started, it’s easier to carry on, but giving myself permission to only do ten minutes, makes it far easier for me to get started in the first place. I also walk my dogs, which gets me out in the fresh air, which is also a big mood boost.

Thirdly, I try to practice self care. I make sure that I am eating well, and healthily. I make sure I take the time to look after myself physically. Sometimes, something as small as a longer than usual shower can help put those blues on the back foot. The thing is, we need to teach ourselves that it’s okay to look after ourselves, so go get your hair done, or get a massage, or a manicure. Whatever makes you feel good.

Fourthly, do things that you enjoy. Maybe it’s a new hobby, maybe it’s as simple as watching that tv show, or listening to that album that you love. Tell yourself that you can do this, and that it’s okay for you to have some fun! We’re not robots, and sometimes, we just need that little bit of enjoyment, especially when the blues are upon us.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all have different ways of beating the blues… but it is important that we actually employ these ways, instead of letting them fall by the wayside in the face of those dreaded blues.

What are some of your ways that you’ve found to beat the blues?


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.