I was talking to one of my bestest (yes, I know it’s not a real word, and no, I don’t care) friends yesterday and she was telling me about telling friends and family that she is pregnant again. I couldn’t believe the responses she’s had. I’ve known about her pregnancy from the moment she found out, and I am so happy for her. She is an amazing Mum, and her kids are completely adorable (even the teenaged gamer dude!).
She loves being a Mum, and lives for her kids. She deliberately kept the news to herself to start with, because she knew what the responses would be and obviously didn’t really want to hear the usual “You’re ruining your life” and “You’re a glutton for punishment” comments that she heard with her third baby.
When she started to share the news with a select few, she had to deal with these comments all over again from some of the people closest to her. She’s putting on a brave face, but she’s obviously been effected by it, to the point that she’s been unsure about whether to share the news (like other parents do) with a creative photoshoot.
I felt so sad when she told me this, and when we discussed it, she asked me if I would take the pictures for her, and when she makes the announcement, she is going to turn off commenting on it because she’s worried about the responses she might get, but why should she feel that she has to do this? And what business is it of anyone else’s. If she’s happy, and the baby will be well looked after, and most importantly, loved, then whose business is it to make any unkind and thoughtless comments.
It got me thinking. How often do we make comments, whether on social media, or in person, where our words might hurt someone else? What is it with human beings, that we find it so hard to actually be kind especially when it’s a friend. When did it become okay to speak words that hurt and wound?
It’s easier than ever to speak our minds, to give an opinion, and to hurt someone, often without even thinking. Social media and the internet in general, allows us to say what we want about anyone, without even ever seeing the hurt that is caused. We can say and do anything, and it doesn’t even really touch us, but it should.
Looking at the words we say, how many of us would be happy for them to be said back to us? How many of us would think it was okay to speak like that then. I’m not perfect. I’m probably about as far from it as it’s possible to get, but I know that I want, in every way, to try and be a person whose words I would be happy to hear spoken back to myself.
So, to my dear, darling friend: Congratulations! I am so happy for you! You are already an amazing Mum, and this little munchkin is blessed to have you as a Mum! I can’t wait to meet him (or her), and be an Auntie all over again! I love you, and I will be here to support you all the way, forever.
Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.