Grief and the chasm it makes

Grief and the Chasm it makes

How to carry on with life when you feel like it’s over

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

My sister passed away 15 months ago. I thought that by now, the pain would have lessened, but it hasn’t really. I miss her so much every day. I miss her laugh and her wicked sense of humour, and I miss her hugs.

She had a lot of issues, and that’s the one thing that has made losing her a little more bearable, is the thought that she is now at peace. Those issues are no longer hers to carry, and I am so thankful for that, because it was horrible seeing her suffering.

The thing is that grief works in a strange way. For some of us, the person we’ve lost was suffering; for some of us, it was completely unexpected, and there was no warning at all.

The only thing that we know for sure about grief is that it does not discriminate. It will come for us all at one time or another, and when it does, we will need to just walk through it in whichever way is right for us.

For me, this has meant surrounding myself with good friends; people who have been there for me when I’ve been crying (ugly crying) down the phone, and when I’ve needed someone to just give me a hug. It has meant throwing myself into my creative pursuits, and really focusing on them. It has meant escaping into the made up world of my stories, and the stories of others.

That’s the thing though… this is what works for me. It may not work for you, and that’s okay. What is important to remember is that we must do whatever it is that works for us.

To some extent, we must adopt an attitude of “Whatever gets you through the day.” If we do this as many times as required, we will eventually find that we have a day when we can forget this attitude, and hopefully, as time passes, those days will become more, and the “whatever gets you through the day” days will become less, and really, that’s the only way to truly tread this path of grief if we are to ever cross that chasm and make it to the other side.


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and

Writing Through The Pain

Writing Through The Pain

The Struggle Is Real

by Asdrubal luna on Unsplash

I made the decision to do Nanowrimo again this year, and I am determined to win this time. I’ve had a few setbacks, which have left me very much below the ‘on par’ word count that I should be at, but I’m not too worried, because I have a lot of writing to do and that simply excites me.

The thing is, though, that my anxiety doesn’t agree and leaves me feeling freaked out about the number of words I must hit. Well, this year, I refuse to let my anxiety win, when it tells me that I am a failure, and that I may as well give up, because, you know what? Even if life gets in the way and I find myself unable to actually finish the 50000 words, I have still written far more words than I would have done if I hadn’t been doing Nano.

Some of the things that have come up have been general ‘life’ things, but others (and this is where I struggle), are to do with my physical and emotional health. Some days, my tmjd flares up and I have a constant headache from the moment I wake up, to the moment that I go to bed. These days have been more often than not, lately, and it’s been hard to put the work in when my head feels like it’s going to explode.

The reality, though, is that the world doesn’t stop, just because I’m in pain. The truth is, that it keeps going, and nowadays, time seems to move faster and faster, and I can’t just stop whenever I have a bad day. I simply have to push through the pain, if I am ever going to get this novel finished and out and about in the world.

So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to push forward, and I am going to just keep on writing through the pain, because I know it will ease off eventually, but the writing that I do will always be there, and there’s nothing like the sense of achievement that looking at a finished chapter gives you!


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.