Friendship

Friendship

And when you know it’s over.

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

Over the last couple of years, I’ve learnt a lot about friendship. I’ve learnt that there are people who are true friends, who will be there for you no matter what, and no matter how much you try and push them away.

I have also found people who will say that they’re going to be there, but when it comes down to it, they simply aren’t. They are either too busy, they can’t be bothered, or they don’t have the time, and you know what? I’m learning to be okay with that.

I’m learning that these are people who aren’t really friends, and while I would have been desperately upset about it a couple of years ago, now I am confident in those people that I can call my true friends; those people who I could call in the middle of the night, and know that they would be there for me.

Over the last couple of months, I have been coming to terms with the fact that someone I thought of as a friend, not only isn’t, but that they never really were in the first place.

Now, I would be lying if I said that this realisation didn’t hurt, but as I’ve spent the time getting used to it and accepting it, in a way, it feels like a weight off.

In the past, I would have felt compelled to try and make things right, and to try and ‘mend’ the friendship, but the truth is that some friendships are just not reparable.

This is one of those friendships.

So, how can I tell?

1. This person and I have not had more than a two minute conversation in over a year.

2. It always falls to me to make the first contact.

3. They are only interested in me when it comes to asking me to do something for them.

4. They will abruptly end a conversation with me when I dare to start talking about something other than them.

5. They don’t value me. Not as a person, nor with a view to my chosen vocation.

I know this sounds very harsh, but it’s the truth. It’s a hard, and painful truth to accept, but now that I have accepted it, it feels like a huge burden has been lifted. I no longer have to fight for a friendship, which, quite frankly, isn’t worth saving.

I know how hard the decision to end a friendship is. I know how much it hurts. I’ve been there; and the only thing I can say to you now, is that if you are going through a similar thing, you can do this. You can be the one to call it a day. You are worth more than a half hearted, façade of a friendship, and when you realise this, you too will feel lighter for letting that friendship go.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Friendship

Friendship

The Truth

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

A lot of the time, we talk about friends, but sometimes I wonder if we actually know what the word really means, or if we have lost the concept of friendship. I have seven really close friends that I probably speak to more than once a week. These are the people that I know I can trust, and that I know have my back, no matter what.

The thing is that nowadays, what with social medias, people have lists of so-called ‘friends’, which are more like acquaintances. I know people whose friends lists on facebook are numbered in the thousands, and I honestly wonder how many of those people they actually *know*…

I mean, like really know. I’m as guilty as anyone. I have a large number (although, admittedly, not in the thousands) of friends on my list, and I’ll be honest, there are very few of them that I talk to on a regular basis. The thing is, I’m actually okay with that. I’ve stopped worrying about the number of friends I have; and am now more concerned with the quality of the friendships. I’m not saying that I want to become disconnected, but at the same time, I‘m not interested in acquiring a whole heap of new friends or followers, just for the ability to say that I have such and such number on my list.

Recently, I have been sad to have lost a couple of people, who I thought were good friends. I’ll be honest, it still hurts, but I’ve come to terms with it and accepted that this is just how things are going to be from now on.

One of these friends ghosted me when I told them about something that was really distressing to me. The other, a person in authority, as well as what I thought of as a good friend, simply didn’t take me seriously. I was left feeling hurt, and if I’m honest, betrayed.

But I digress. I’ve accepted that situation for what it is, and I’ll just have to live with it, but what I’m trying to say is that we should be really careful to choose our friends wisely. The thing is that friends can let us down, and probably will do at one point or another, because we are, none of us, perfect.

We really need to make sure that the people that we are talking to are people that genuinely have our best interests at heart. I know that my inner circle…. My seven people, have my best interests at heart. They always look out for me, and make sure that I am okay. This is not to say that they won’t call me out on things if I’m behaving in the wrong way, but even this, is done and said in love, and I always feel loved and supported.

The thing is that sometimes, friendships will simply run their course, and I guess that’s what happened to the two that I have recently lost. I really hope that this is the case, rather than that they never really were my friends in the first place.

I truly hope that’s the case. Either way, I am okay with it. It’s taken me a while, and it does still hurt, especially when I see these people, but at the same time, I have decided to have more respect for myself than to go on fighting for a relationship that clearly I am the only one to care about.

So, I want to encourage you to find your seven. Find those people, who make your life better, just by being in it. Find those people who will love and support and protect you. Those people who will laugh when you’re being goofy, and will tell you when you’re being an idiot.

Find your seven, and your life will be all the richer for it.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Friends

Friends

A Haiku

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Always there for you,
They will never let you down,
These; the special few…


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.