is not defined by her past…

by Zohre Nemati on Unsplash

Yesterday I went to the first meeting of “She”, the women’s ministry that my church is launching. I was very nervous about going, as it is the first time in almost three years that I have been able to attend without having any specific ‘job’ to do in the service.

The thing is, I like having a job to do, because it gives me less time to think over things and to over think things, and not having that worried me. Anyway, I went there, and tried to keep an open mind, determined to enjoy my night off. We started with worship, which was amazing! And then a game of handbag bingo, before the word.

The word, or sermon, if you want to get strict about it, was called “Another Brick In The Wall”, and was largely talking about how we, as women see ourselves. The speaker talked about how women tend to take everything upon themselves. They think that anything that happens is their fault, and tend to take the responsibility of the world on their shoulders. They allow the words of others, spoken over them and their lives, to begin to build up a wall around them, and if they’re not careful, this wall can get so tall that it traps them.

We also don’t help ourselves at times, because there are words that we speak over our own lives. Ones like weak, broken, ugly, and failure, when what we should be doing is speaking words like strong, powerful, loved, beautiful, clever, talented.

We often allow our past to creep into the present and define us in a way that it really shouldn’t. We take on things that have happened; words; emotions; feelings… all these things can work together to truly break us.

At the end of the word, the speaker gave out post it notes and encouraged us to write some of the words that we speak over ourselves, and then come out and stick them to a ‘wall’ at the front. The sight of fifty-plus women, all writing their own bricks, and placing them on the wall, where they were vulnerable, and there for all to see was an immense experience.

I wrote words last night, too. I won’t put them here, but know that they were just as bad; just as damning as the ones written further up on this post.

Then, as the worship team played and sang, the speaker walked over to the wall and tore it down; ripping it to shreds in a symbolic gesture that these words are lies, and that they do not define us.

It was truly an amazing night. Tears; many tears, were shed, and the sight of all of these women coming together was so powerful.

We need more of this in the world. Women, you are loved, and you are enough. No matter what you feel, please remember that you are doing the best that you can, right now, and that best is enough.

What are some of the bricks in your walls? If you want to, drop them in the comments, and imagine that you’re tearing your own wall down, because you don’t have to hide behind it.

Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.