Friendship

Friendship

And when you know it’s over.

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

Over the last couple of years, I’ve learnt a lot about friendship. I’ve learnt that there are people who are true friends, who will be there for you no matter what, and no matter how much you try and push them away.

I have also found people who will say that they’re going to be there, but when it comes down to it, they simply aren’t. They are either too busy, they can’t be bothered, or they don’t have the time, and you know what? I’m learning to be okay with that.

I’m learning that these are people who aren’t really friends, and while I would have been desperately upset about it a couple of years ago, now I am confident in those people that I can call my true friends; those people who I could call in the middle of the night, and know that they would be there for me.

Over the last couple of months, I have been coming to terms with the fact that someone I thought of as a friend, not only isn’t, but that they never really were in the first place.

Now, I would be lying if I said that this realisation didn’t hurt, but as I’ve spent the time getting used to it and accepting it, in a way, it feels like a weight off.

In the past, I would have felt compelled to try and make things right, and to try and ‘mend’ the friendship, but the truth is that some friendships are just not reparable.

This is one of those friendships.

So, how can I tell?

1. This person and I have not had more than a two minute conversation in over a year.

2. It always falls to me to make the first contact.

3. They are only interested in me when it comes to asking me to do something for them.

4. They will abruptly end a conversation with me when I dare to start talking about something other than them.

5. They don’t value me. Not as a person, nor with a view to my chosen vocation.

I know this sounds very harsh, but it’s the truth. It’s a hard, and painful truth to accept, but now that I have accepted it, it feels like a huge burden has been lifted. I no longer have to fight for a friendship, which, quite frankly, isn’t worth saving.

I know how hard the decision to end a friendship is. I know how much it hurts. I’ve been there; and the only thing I can say to you now, is that if you are going through a similar thing, you can do this. You can be the one to call it a day. You are worth more than a half hearted, façade of a friendship, and when you realise this, you too will feel lighter for letting that friendship go.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Introverts

Introverts

And What It Means To Be One

Photo by Stefan Spassov on Unsplash

I am a classic introvert. I enjoy my own company, and I don’t generally get lonely or bored. I guess part of it comes from being an only child, but I know a number of introverts who have siblings.

The thing is, as an only child, I didn’t automatically have other children to talk to or play with at home, so I had to rely far more on my imagination.

I am so grateful for that, because it has allowed that imagination to develop, which, along with reading lots and lots of books, has fed into my writing.

What I’m trying to say is that people often see being an introvert as a bad thing, but it isn’t. It is no better or worse than being an extrovert; it is simply different, and that’s okay.

So take some time this week to embrace your inner introvert, because when it comes down to it, it is a big part of you, just as it is a big part of who I am.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Dogs

Dogs

And Why They Are THE Best Companions

Photo by Hannah Lim on Unsplash

I love all animals. They can be cute, funny, annoying, or all three, but the thing is that they are always honest. There’s none of this back stabbing and talking behind the others’ backs. They simply find a way to exist with each other.

I have always had pets. I can’t remember a time… in fact, I am certain that there has never been one, when I have not had an animal of some kind as a companion.

Dogs have always been there, and as far as I am concerned, my house would not be a home without one. They give such unconditional love, and are always there, waiting for a kind word and a bit of a back scratch. I really cannot even comprehend the people who choose to deliberately hurt them. In fact, I believe that there is a special place reserved for them in the fires of hell, but that is a topic for another day.

I adopted my dog from a rescue about seven years ago. She is a chihuahua, Yorkshire Terrier cross, who has enormous ears, a tiny frame and a personality to match the ears. She also seems to think that she’s a German Shepherd.

She is my world. I love her to pieces, and she has gotten me through some truly dreadful experiences. She is so completely tuned in to me, that she will wake up from a dead sleep if I am crying and come over to comfort me.

When I am having a bad time with my depression, she just comes and curls up in my arms. She gives me kisses to try and make me feel better and has a tendency to try and lick away any tears.

She knows when I am anxious and comes to me, and has, on several occasions, prevented me from being hurt.

She is so tuned in to me that when I have a nightmare, she will lick me and paw at me until she has woken me up. Then, she will snuggle with me, and generally, stay awake to make sure that I am okay.

Now, some of you reading this might say that I’m crazy, and maybe I am, but I’m just telling you how it is for me.

I do know one thing for sure; without her, I would be completely lost.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

She Said

She Said

A Poem

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

She said that I was stupid,
She said she didn’t care.
She said that I was on my own,
That I wasn’t self aware.

She said that she loved me,
She said that she knew,
She made me tell all my secrets,
All my tales of woe.

Then one day she left me,
She just turned and walked away.
She didn’t even look back,
On that dark, dark day…


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Bluebells

Bluebells

A Sign From Nature

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

About seven years ago, I began writing a project. This became a novel, which I actually completed. I put it to one side so that I could get some distance before I went back into redrafting.

Now, life got in the way and I spent a bit more time away from it than I’d planned, but when I went back to it, I found that the ending that I’d written had gone missing. I was heartbroken (if you’re a writer, you’ll understand this), and I simply gave up on it, leaving the now, unfinished manuscript where it was.

Now, this is where it could have ended, and I thought it had. Until Good Friday…

I’d had some new bookshelves installed, so I took the opportunity on Good Friday to sort out some of my books and notebooks (who doesn’t love a nice, neatly ordered space?).

While I was doing this, I happened to find two notebooks, with the original manuscript for my long- forgotten novel. I was happy, but simply shelved them once more.

The following day, while out for a walk with my furbabies, I saw a bluebell on its own, just beside the path. I smiled at it’s beauty, but thought nothing much more of it.

The day after that, I saw two bluebells, and the day after that; a cluster of them. Then, while I was on the phone to a friend, she mentioned that she had millions and millions of bluebells in her garden.

I expect you’re wondering why these bluebells were so important to me…

Well, the thing is that the main character in my manuscript is named Bluebell.

Some might say that this is a coincidence, but for me, I choose to see it as a sign; a sign that now is the time to go back to this project, and to start redrafting it, so that’s what I plan to do.

I’ll post little updates on how it’s going, here and there, but the message I wanted to share here is to not ignore hints, no matter how subtle they may be. Notice everything, and when you feel that little prod, trust your instincts.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Relaunch

Relaunch

Where I went wrong with blogging

Photo by Free To Use Sounds on Unsplash

Today, I’m relaunching my blog properly. I’ve not posted anything for a while, partly due to health reasons, and partly down to personal reasons, but what I worked out during this enforced break, is that I have lost a lot of the enjoyment in writing this blog.

The thing is that when I started posting on here, I said that I would be writing primarily for myself, and that I was going to have fun with the content that I created.

Then, it slowly became about getting applause, and followers, which, don’t get me wrong, I really like, but the thing is, I began trying too hard, I think. I was creating content just to try and reach this goal, when, really, I was losing track of my own, personal goal, which was to enjoy blogging, and to write for myself for a while.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m now going to try and write this blog how I originally intended to, and I hope that you’ll join me on the way.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

On Being An Outcast

On Being An Outcast

And Why We Should Let People In

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

There are times when you feel like you just don’t fit in; times when you couldn’t feel more like the odd one out. More often than not, I feel like I am standing on the outside, looking in, but then something happened, which made me realise that this was more to do with my feelings than with anything else.

Sometimes, we can think that we are all on our own, when, really, there are people out there who care, and who want to be there, if only we let them.

In the midst of a depression, it can be all too easy to think that nobody cares, but we need to remember (especially during these times) that people do care, and that they want to be there, but in order for them to do that, we need to actually let them in.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Missing You 9 Years On

Missing You 9 Years On

A Letter To My Nan

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

There are days that come as years go by, when I miss you so much more. It feels like only yesterday when we said goodbye, and yet it feels like you’ve been gone forever.

You were always there for me, and you were one of my biggest supporters. You never doubted in me once. You were always there for a hug when I needed one, and you always said exactly what you thought.

You lived with us for all of my childhood, and a large part of my adulthood, too. We were so close, and I always knew that you loved me. You loved me so much, that when you were ill in hospital, when I asked you to keep the NG tube in, you did, even though you hated it and it made you miserable.

It’s been nine years since I last saw you, and I still remember it as clear as day. I don’t think that memory will ever go; it’s indelibly printed on my brain.

I hope you’re up there now, with all the doggies and critters, having the best time.

I miss you so much. I always will, but I’m determined to make you proud.

I love you Nanny.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

The Bridge

The Bridge

A Poem

Photo by Fabio Comparelli on Unsplash

It comes to mind,
In darkest of times,
A place to go
To make everything end.

The pain to stop,
The hurt to cease,
The memories that make,
Her so ill at ease.

She can’t go there,
Or she’ll be nowhere,
She has to resist,
Pain that’s too much to bear.

Things will look different,
When another day is spent,
In time she’ll feel better,
Her life will depend.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Music & Memories

Music & Memories

The Power Of Song

Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

Music has always been a huge influence in my life. I’m not some kind of musical prodigy, and I can barely carry a tune, but I love music. I can’t remember the last day when I didn’t listen to music; it’s the first thing I listen to in the morning. To me, there is nothing better than waking up to a good tune.

I have often confused people though, as they ask me what kind of music I’m ‘into’, and when I give them my answer, they simply don’t understand. My answer is simply this: “I like pretty much anything” and the thing is that I genuinely mean this.

There are very few songs that I actually dislike enough to turn them over. I could probably count them on one hand, if I’m honest.

Music for me is central to everything. Most of my memories have music linked to them. For example, when I hear Simon & Garfunkel’s ‘Old Friends’, I think of my sister. We always said that we’d be like the friends in that song, sat on the park bench like bookends. I will never hear that song and not smile, even though it is now bittersweet, as we won’t get to do that.

I remember the moment that I became a Christian, because of the song that was being played at the time. It was the song ‘Majesty’ by Delirious? and I was at one of their concerts. That song will always be special to me, and remind me of that moment when I made a choice that I have never regretted.

Of course, there are songs that remind me of sad times, too. The song ‘Goodnight Sweetheart’ by Dean Martin was playing when my Grandmother died. It literally sang her out. We were all there with her, and we sang along to it. In truth, we sang her out, too. I can’t listen to that song without crying. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.

The thing is that music can evoke so many different emotions in us, and I love the way that certain songs can make me laugh or cry or give me shivers. The way that it has of making me feel something so deeply, in a way that no words or pictures can, amazes me.

Do you have any special songs? Let me know in the comments. J


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.