Relaunch

Relaunch

Where I went wrong with blogging

Photo by Free To Use Sounds on Unsplash

Today, I’m relaunching my blog properly. I’ve not posted anything for a while, partly due to health reasons, and partly down to personal reasons, but what I worked out during this enforced break, is that I have lost a lot of the enjoyment in writing this blog.

The thing is that when I started posting on here, I said that I would be writing primarily for myself, and that I was going to have fun with the content that I created.

Then, it slowly became about getting applause, and followers, which, don’t get me wrong, I really like, but the thing is, I began trying too hard, I think. I was creating content just to try and reach this goal, when, really, I was losing track of my own, personal goal, which was to enjoy blogging, and to write for myself for a while.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m now going to try and write this blog how I originally intended to, and I hope that you’ll join me on the way.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

On Being An Outcast

On Being An Outcast

And Why We Should Let People In

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

There are times when you feel like you just don’t fit in; times when you couldn’t feel more like the odd one out. More often than not, I feel like I am standing on the outside, looking in, but then something happened, which made me realise that this was more to do with my feelings than with anything else.

Sometimes, we can think that we are all on our own, when, really, there are people out there who care, and who want to be there, if only we let them.

In the midst of a depression, it can be all too easy to think that nobody cares, but we need to remember (especially during these times) that people do care, and that they want to be there, but in order for them to do that, we need to actually let them in.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Missing You 9 Years On

Missing You 9 Years On

A Letter To My Nan

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

There are days that come as years go by, when I miss you so much more. It feels like only yesterday when we said goodbye, and yet it feels like you’ve been gone forever.

You were always there for me, and you were one of my biggest supporters. You never doubted in me once. You were always there for a hug when I needed one, and you always said exactly what you thought.

You lived with us for all of my childhood, and a large part of my adulthood, too. We were so close, and I always knew that you loved me. You loved me so much, that when you were ill in hospital, when I asked you to keep the NG tube in, you did, even though you hated it and it made you miserable.

It’s been nine years since I last saw you, and I still remember it as clear as day. I don’t think that memory will ever go; it’s indelibly printed on my brain.

I hope you’re up there now, with all the doggies and critters, having the best time.

I miss you so much. I always will, but I’m determined to make you proud.

I love you Nanny.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

The Bridge

The Bridge

A Poem

Photo by Fabio Comparelli on Unsplash

It comes to mind,
In darkest of times,
A place to go
To make everything end.

The pain to stop,
The hurt to cease,
The memories that make,
Her so ill at ease.

She can’t go there,
Or she’ll be nowhere,
She has to resist,
Pain that’s too much to bear.

Things will look different,
When another day is spent,
In time she’ll feel better,
Her life will depend.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Music & Memories

Music & Memories

The Power Of Song

Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

Music has always been a huge influence in my life. I’m not some kind of musical prodigy, and I can barely carry a tune, but I love music. I can’t remember the last day when I didn’t listen to music; it’s the first thing I listen to in the morning. To me, there is nothing better than waking up to a good tune.

I have often confused people though, as they ask me what kind of music I’m ‘into’, and when I give them my answer, they simply don’t understand. My answer is simply this: “I like pretty much anything” and the thing is that I genuinely mean this.

There are very few songs that I actually dislike enough to turn them over. I could probably count them on one hand, if I’m honest.

Music for me is central to everything. Most of my memories have music linked to them. For example, when I hear Simon & Garfunkel’s ‘Old Friends’, I think of my sister. We always said that we’d be like the friends in that song, sat on the park bench like bookends. I will never hear that song and not smile, even though it is now bittersweet, as we won’t get to do that.

I remember the moment that I became a Christian, because of the song that was being played at the time. It was the song ‘Majesty’ by Delirious? and I was at one of their concerts. That song will always be special to me, and remind me of that moment when I made a choice that I have never regretted.

Of course, there are songs that remind me of sad times, too. The song ‘Goodnight Sweetheart’ by Dean Martin was playing when my Grandmother died. It literally sang her out. We were all there with her, and we sang along to it. In truth, we sang her out, too. I can’t listen to that song without crying. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.

The thing is that music can evoke so many different emotions in us, and I love the way that certain songs can make me laugh or cry or give me shivers. The way that it has of making me feel something so deeply, in a way that no words or pictures can, amazes me.

Do you have any special songs? Let me know in the comments. J


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Vigilante By Shelley Harris

Vigilante By Shelley Harris

A Review

At the start of this year, my friend started a book club. Our first book choice was “Neverwhere” by Neil Gaiman, which I loved and have already reviewed. You can find that here:

The second book selection was the subject of this review. I only wish that my reaction to this book was the same as that of the first one.

I truly hated this book. The story was weak. The characters were weak. The entire premise was more than a little ridiculous.

Before I go any further, I will issue a spoiler alert, although I hardly think I will be spoiling anything about this book, seeing as there is practically nothing about it to spoil.

We begin the book with a disappointed and discontented housewife, tidying up after her careless husband and teenaged daughter. I am not going to do more here than say that I don’t like tidying and chores when I am the one doing them. I like them even less when I’m reading about someone else doing them. I can think of nothing more boring.

We then are introduced to her husband’s superhero comic book that he’s drawing. Enter the green eyed monster. The main character becomes jealous (of a fictional character), and sets about designing her own super hero costume for a fancy dress party that they are invited to.

The costume in itself, is ridiculous. I don’t know of any super hero that would wear fishnet stockings, and red high heels. Regardless, the costume was finished, and while on the way to the party, the main character intercepts a mugging.

From here, ensues a series of “Should I?” and “I really shouldn’t” moments, where the mc can’t quite make up her mind what she wants to do, which left me (the reader) wanting to simultaneously strangle her and kick her up the proverbial behind! I mean, seriously, a young girl is discovered missing, presumed kidnapped, and rather than calling the police, this woman agonises about whether she’s going to put on the costume and go to look for her or not.

The entire thing was, to coin the phrase of two members of the book club, “pretentious crap”. There was an emphasis put on women in stereotypical roles. The downtrodden housewife, living a double life. The butch lesbian police officer. The closeted lesbian teenager. All in all, it was simply too much politics, and not enough story or premise.

The language was flowery, and just way too much. The author even had the bare faced cheek to use the phrase “I won’t mince words” after a particularly lengthy passage of text, where the salient points could have been conveyed in half the words.

There was, however, one thing (and just the one, mind you) that I took from this book and that I found valuable. This was the technique shown the main character when she attended a self defence class, and was taught that if she was attacked, then one of the weakest points on an assailant is the little finger, which, when grabbed and pulled back, will make them let go.

This is something that, almost two months after reading the book, has stayed with me, and that I can say is very valuable.

Overall, though, I do not recommend this book, unless your main goal for reading it is to make yourself lose the will to live… multiple times. I’m serious!

If you’ve read it, what do you think about it? Do you disagree with me? I’d love to hear your views.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Camp NaNoWriMo

Camp NaNoWriMo

The Beginning

Photo by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash

Well, yesterday, I began a month-long writing challenge. National Novel Writing Month that runs throughout the course of November, has been going for a number of years now. I have participated several times, but this year, I thought I would try their spring challenge, titled “Camp NaNoWriMo”.

The principle is basically the same. You write throughout the month of April. You have support from a huge network of peers, who are also doing the challenge. The difference is that you set the target. You can write anything you want, or finish off a piece you’re currently working on.

The thing is that there is an added freedom in this challenge, which isn’t there with the November variant. So, I thought I’d give it a go. I’m hoping that it will jump start my steps back into writing, and that I can actually get something fully drafted by the end of the month.

So, I’ve picked out my projects, and made a start. One is the story of a teenaged girl whose father is arrested for being in a relationship with one of his students, but this isn’t just any student, it’s her best friend. The story picks up just as this becomes public knowledge and Allie (mc) sees her father arrested. We will then follow Allie as she walks the path of a pariah; a girl marked with a sin that is not hers.

I’m really looking forward to getting on with the story and to writing freely for a while. I don’t intend to plan too much, because the story has been inside my head for a long time, and I have a fairly confident knowledge of where it is going to go.

I also intend to work on a middle grade fantasy about a dragon school; a dark YA fantasy about a girl who can pass between her world and a world inhabited by daemons; a short story for the writing course I am doing; and the novel that I’ve been working on for the last year.

I know it seems like a lot of projects, but my mood is very unsettled at the moment, and after talking with a good friend, who is a huge inspiration to me, I have decided that it’s okay to have multiple projects to work on.

I’ll keep you guys updated, and if you want to join me on the journey, drop me a note in the comments. J


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

The Next Chapter

The Next Chapter

I’m Baaaaack!

Photo by Justine Camacho on Unsplash

I’ve let this blog slip massively. I’ve not been well (emotionally and physically) and it’s been very hard to summon up the energy to do any writing at all. I just haven’t been able to motivate myself to do it, whether that’s ‘it’ is the action of sitting at my computer and typing, or whether it’s the mental process of coming up with things to write. Either way, things haven’t got done, and posts haven’t been written, and it got to the point where I had to say to myself that I had to take a break, for my own sanity.

I’m feeling a little better now, and have been able to write, so I’m hoping that I can get back on track with this blog, because I really have missed it.

The thing is that sometimes, life gets in the way, and in the past I would have blamed myself for not being strong enough to be able to cope with it, and to also get on with things (like writing these posts), but I am slowly learning that it’s okay to say that I’m having a bad day, and that the post I want to write will wait until tomorrow, and it will probably be better for me giving myself some time. I’m not saying that I never have those feelings of ‘not being good enough’, but I am more aware of them now, and I can try and practice being kind to myself.

So, I guess what this post was really about was to say that I’m back, and that I hope you’ll join me on this next journey this coming month. 🙂


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Pageant

Pageant

A Poem Of The Self

Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash

A vision of perfection,
The mask is put in place,
Bright smile now pasted on,
She hopes it’s not a waste.

The darkness crashes in,
She’s lost, and all alone,
Yet coming from within,
She’s toppled from her throne.

The old ones never tell,
Eyes unseeing, see,
They say that all is well,
But it will not ever be.

She fell and now she falls,
Freely breaking down,
She won’t go to the ball,
But sits there with a frown.

Tears will flow down cheeks,
And her beautiful dress is crumpled,
She’s been sad for weeks,
She’s broken, trodden, trampled.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Piling On The Pressure

Piling on the pressure

And why I’ve decided to give myself a break.

Photo by Lysander Yuen on Unsplash

Being a carer, there is a LOT of extreme and constant pressure on you. Your life becomes something that is not about you at all. Your entire existence becomes wrapped up in looking after the person that you care for.

A large number of these carers will, at some time or the other, experience burnout. They will get to the point where, no matter how much they want to, they literally cannot physically or emotionally, give any more.

I know this feeling, and it isn’t a nice one. Dependent on the needs of the person that you’re caring for, there can be immense pressure:

“If I’m not there when they need me, will they hurt themselves?”

These thoughts can go round and round in the mind of a carer, until the fear is almost crippling. I know it was for me.

Carers very rarely put themselves first. They always come second, never will they put their own needs above their loved one.

I can remember days when I was so exhausted, and had the beginnings of a migraine, and even then, I made sure that my sister was okay and that she had everything that she needed before I actually took the painkillers I needed and took myself to bed.

Since my sister passed away in 2017, I have been struggling to adjust to a life where I am not a carer. The habits I learnt back then have taken a long time to break. For example, I used to try and cram as much of my writing and art and craft into the morning as I possibly could, because I knew that the minute that midday came, I would be needed to fulfil my carer duties.

Although this has not been the case for more than a year now, I have only just been able to allow myself time in the mornings in order to relax, in the knowledge that I can now, also work in the afternoon.

It sounds so simple and so stupid, and yet, it has been a real issue for me.

This week, I have, rather than giving myself daily schedules, simply set out the minimum number of hours I wish to spend on each thing (writing, studying, artwork, crafting). I haven’t really looked at whether I am on track or not. I am just simply allowing myself to spend the time working on these things, but the targets being there helps my badly behaved brain to not panic about not achieving enough.

Through this process, I am giving myself permission to have some breathing room, and so far, my productivity has flourished because of it.


If you’d like to get updates from me once a week, you can click here… 🙂


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.