You Should Be Setting Goals

And Why They Need To Be Realistic

I love goals. I love setting them, and I love reaching, and achieving them. There is no better feeling than knowing that you’ve worked towards something and that you can now see the proof of your labour.

The problem I have with my goals, is that I tend to way over reach on what I can actually achieve. I have a tendency to try and spread myself way too thin, and this proves to be a stumbling block for me.

Lately, I have had to admit that I just can’t carry on setting goals that mean that I’m basically setting myself up to fail with, because, let’s face it, there is also no worse feeling than knowing that you’ve failed to meet a goal.

So, where do I go from here?

I simply need to work out which goals are achievable, and which ones aren’t, and, more important than that, I need to decide to let those ones go, because all they’re doing in the long run, is hurting me.

I think the first big step for me here, was to admit that I am not superhuman, no matter what my brain would have me believe.

There are days when I just don’t feel up to doing anything at all, except curling up in a ball and reading a good book (see my previous post). There are days when life just gets in the way, and then, there are the good days; the days when everything seems to go right, and I can reach all of the goals that I set for myself.

The thing is, that up until recently, I thought that I had to push myself to do everything, regardless of what any given day might bring. I am now learning that this just isn’t the case.

The thing with goals, is that they are meant to set us up to succeed.

Yes, they are also meant to push us, but at the end of the day, a small goal reached, is better than a huge goal spectacularly missed.

So, what steps am I taking now, to ensure that I meet my goals?

The answer is simple:

1. Set small, teeny tiny, achievable goals.

2. Set sensible deadlines.

3. Accept that sometimes, things change.

4. Adjust goals accordingly.

5. If necessary, break up a large goal into several smaller ones.

This is a practice that I am still working on, and still learning, but it is something that I am determined to reach and succeed at.


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Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Mental Health Days

And why it’s okay to take them…

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

Over the last few days, I have been struggling with a particularly bad patch of depression. It has been one of those times when it has even been a struggle to get out of bed, and all I’ve really wanted to do is curl up in a ball and read, because when I read, I can escape into another world that isn’t mine.

The thing is that I had to decide which battles were worth fighting. I could have dragged myself up and forced myself to persevere with what I ‘should’ have been doing, and would have probably got none of it done, or at least, done it very badly.

I couldn’t concentrate on anything much at all, and every time I tried to think, I just kept falling back into that black hole.

This is when I knew that I needed to make the decision on whether I carried on throwing myself against a brick wall, or whether I just decide to practice self care, and give my body and mind what it wants.

That’s the thing with depression, or any other kind of invisible illness. Sometimes, you have to pick your battles; and sometimes, it’s okay to accept that you need to take a minute, or an hour, or a day.

My usual limit on mental health days is three. If I need to, I will allow myself three days off, but after that, I try and get back into some kind of routine. Although I still try to practice self care.

There are several ways of self care, and they can range from simply watching a favourite movie or tv show, or reading a favourite book, to taking a bath, or giving yourself a manicure, or even taking the dog for a walk.

The thing to remember, no matter how guilty you feel is that the world won’t stop turning just because you need to take some time to look after your own mental health.

It’s a battle sometimes; I know that, but it’s really important that you learn to accept your limitations and that you listen to your body and mind, because, when it comes down to it, if you’re not going to listen, then who wil



Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.