He Loves Me

He Loves Me

Monologue Monday

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I don’t believe he did it again, he knows how much I hate it. He came in drunk, he didn’t mean to, I’m sure of it.

He loves me really.

It’s the drink. It screws with his head, messes him up good and proper.

I just never thought he’d do it again. Not now.

How can I face him now? And her, she’ll hate me, and say that it was my fault anyhow. People say I should get away, but how can I? How can I leave?

I hurt so much.

They only know the half of it though. How could they know the truth? It’s just too horrible!

How could he think I’d fight back. He’s too strong. What’s the point in my trying?

I’m covered in bruises and cuts.

Think I may have broken a rib or two.

Still,

he loves me…

I can’t blame him.

He didn’t know what he was thinking.

He was intoxicated.

The booze and rage just got to him.

I asked for it.

Don’t like it when he holds me down though.

It scares me.

I’m not exactly strong.

I ache so much now…

I always ache after he’s finished,

But it’s worse this time..

He was really mad..

I don’t know what I did..

Must have been bad though..

It’ll take a couple of days to feel better…..

Problem is, then he’ll come and do it again.

It’s like a vicious circle, and I’m trapped in the middle.

But..

he loves me..

It’s my fault, it must be (it always is)….

That and the drink.

It can’t be his fault, he’s not to blame.

People sneer and say there’s no excuse — say I’m blind, they do, but they don’t know him. They don’t know how much he does for me.

I know he does other stuff too, but I love him.

And she really would never forgive me. She loves him too, see.

He’d never let me go.

Don’t know that I want to, mind.

He may do some bad stuff, but underneath it all, he’s still…

he still makes it all better.

That’s why I can’t leave.

He always makes it better in the end.

And anyway, she would never forgive me if I told and left. It would only make it worse. They’d turn against me. Hate me more than they do now.

And what would people say?

Ungrateful cow!

Only cares about herself.

Look what she’s done to her poor parents.

Always said she was trouble, that one.

They don’t know either, and they don’t care.

Nobody cares.

That’s why I stay, the good times are worth putting up with the bad

Who else would want to look after me?

No-one Would!

They’re the only ones who can look after..

Who can put up with me….

…and they love me….

They do…

I’m sure of it.

I couldn’t hurt them that much. They don’t deserve it.

So, I’ll just sit here and wait…..

I’m sure he’ll come back soon…


Li Carter is a writer, artist and crafter. She lives in South Wales, UK, with her family, and five rescue dogs. She’s on Twitter @rbcreativeli , Facebook: Rainbow Butterfly Creative, and Instagram @rainbowbutterflycreative and is the author of My Only True Friend: The Beginning. She is currently working on a new series titled The QuickSilver Chronicles. She is the original Rainbow Butterfly, and wants to fill an ever darkening world with a little bit of beauty and creativity.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s